upon further listening i think the mystery death is either a baby crow or a mutant bullfrog. i hope i dream about both.

weekend

i am unspeakably tired, friends. i will be in bed as soon as this post ends. well, i will brush my teeth first. it is important to take oral hygiene seriously.

i just watched the manchurian candidate. the original one from 1962. i would recommend it if you haven't seen it before. it actually made me think about a lot of things i didn't think it ever would have, which impresses me because i'm surprised anything could make me think at all considering how out of it i am in the first place.

on a sad note, it is possible that my computer may be starting to have its first troubles. all of the movies i have watched lately have been kind of choppy. i thought it was just the disk the first time, but the trouble appears to be universal.

also it is possible that something is being killed outside my window right now. there is a terrible animalian screaming coming from the general direction of the backyard. it would not be surprising with so many cats around that one caught something and is currently destroying it. that and the fact that it won't be dark for nearly another hour may make it a bit tougher to sleep. although with the way i'm feeling it may not even matter. in fact, here comes the enamel-protecting fluoride toothpaste now... later.

i'll be your bitch

today at work my new boss made me grab her ass in the work room surrounded by the attendings and surgeons i will be working with for the next 14 weeks. gaining their respect will be hard enough, and i am sure this delayed that day significantly. these days i am so tired i don't seem to really care about anything--but this still bothered me. i'm probably just too sensitive...

sometimes i wonder if all of the strange things going on around me are actually happening, or if my mind exaggerates the truth--or even simply invents the occurrences. yesterday i saw an older black gentleman walking down the street wearing a t-shirt with the confederate flag on it. last night i met jesus at the bar. his owners were drunk and kept trying to make him lie down. i took it as a personal prophesy. i saw a vision of annie in the future, on her bike with the sidecar. in my version i am in that sidecar wearing a skullcap and goggles.

three cheers for opposable thumbs!

my dad is taking me to a reds game tonight.

i have lots of things to say but it seems that they are all one-liners and i don't have the time or the wherewithal to fill any of them out right now. mostly it's the lack of wherewithal.

i promise to try harder later, but for now, i'm out. peace.

thoughts on travel and doing the right thing

it is always a little bittersweet to come home at the end of vacation. especially a good one. and especially when you have to start a new job right away.

the last leg of my journey took me to new york city with some of the best people around. i am forever indebted to jessica meyer and probably also to scott, so the next time you see either of them be sure and remember their awesomeness. the city lived up to its reputation as fast and loud and bustling, but i found it comfortable and approachable. it is possible i will look for jobs there after graduation. i hear they have a pretty serious shortage and are offering some relatively enticing incentives.

my trip had a vein of reality running through it, though, as midway through i was offered an interview for a different summer job that i wanted a whole lot more. i wound up doing a panel phone interview one afternoon sitting in a park by the brooklyn bridge. today they called and formally offered me the position.

i have spent a fair amount of time over the past few days trying to figure out what the right thing to do is in this situation. i already committed to job #1, and i really don't want to cause any trouble for the woman/clinic that hired me. however, job #2 is very much more appealing to me, and it also is a foot in the door at a place i could potentially see a future career.

in situations like this it sometimes feels as if i am a part of two very different but very real worlds: the one where you do the right thing because it is the right thing even if it is not best for you; and the one where you sometimes have to do what is best for you even if it is not best for someone else. in best case scenarios the two overlap.

when job #2 called me today to inquire about my decision, i told her i was feeling conflicted and, despite my great desire to work at her institution, i did not feel it was right to back out on job #1 on such short notice. much to my pleasant surprise, this woman said she was impressed by my attitude, complimented me on having integrity, and fully supported my decision. then she asked me to please keep in touch and to contact her in the fall because she was pretty certain they could come up with a position for me by then.

after all of the ridiculous and unfortunate crap that has happened this year, it really means a lot to me to run across someone like this. it is not that i need recognition or praise from anyone, but it sure feels good that the struggle i have had over this wound up being positive on all fronts instead of causing anyone any amount of trouble.

so i officially start work tomorrow. i will now go pack my lunch.

a-town ramblings

athens in the summer is good. solidly, wholly good.
only a girl can't possibly fit everything and everyone in to such a short visit. and no offense everyone, but matt and kelly win this time. they get me before any of the rest of you. i hope you can understand this and that it won't hurt any feelings...

remember how i'm going to be an aunt?

there is a very high concentration of good people in this small town. i feel so thankful for the time i spent here, and sometimes wonder if i will ever come back, wonder if i could survive a small town after time on the other side. i feel like that is impossible to guess, i have no way to predict what life may hold in the next few years, months. hopefully the next few days hold nice times in new york with jessm, t-pole and b-rod. that is if b-rod's passport arrives tomorrow. fingers are crossed and prayers have been said.

talya: i wish i would have known your place was near the zoo. i sat there for almost 2 hours waiting for my ride when i could have been enjoying your company. next time, please.

paul: you left athens for chicago, i left chicago for athens. next time, please. (i'll be back in july.)

the windy city

what a good day to be alive. we've had such a nice time, including when the can of carpet cleaner exploded and oozed all over the kitchen floor and also when the nice man gave us two $40 tickets for the price of one. i've never sat that close at a baseball game before. too bad the sox lost.

also, they don't call it the windy city for nothing. michele says that it's really not like this very often... in conditions like this you're never really running with the wind. and also your eyes are never really safe from flying debris.
every time i come here i seem to find new things that i like. this trip is no exception. did you know they have a whole zoo with free admission? we're totally going tomorrow.

that's all i've got for now. later.

hello chicago

after only one minor setback, i have arrived in chicago all safelike. it feels really good to be here. i like the city so much--meaning "the city" in general, and chicago in specific too.

myla keeps bringing me her new baby squeaks a lot toy to play with. she also just burped in my face. after drinking from the toilet. what a happy puppy!

this is how the night is shaping up:
1. pizza
2. beer
3. sleep.

and also, way to go jessica meyer. we are all so proud and happy for you.

peace out

today was a funny day. it was the last day of class for the year--thank you Jesus. and my group also started down the road to a grade appeal. we'll see how that one turns out.

tomorrow i leave for vacation. i. can't. wait.

hope you're all well. i will see some of you soon.
yessss...

it's on

this morning was my first official "long run" for the marathon training program i'm doing. for the next 19 saturdays i will get up early and run up to 3 hours. then on the 20th week i will run the 26.2 mile marathon. does that sound fun to anyone else? because i'm pretty excited.

also, did you know that it's a fundraiser for the leukemia and lymphoma society? i feel certain that i mentioned this before. if you want to learn more about things or donate any money to the cause, visit my website and follow the instructions there. i think maybe the fundraising part is scarier than the running part. but i'll get there, right? right.

monday is my last final for the year (yay!). then on tuesday i fly to chicago for a nice visit and to see some family. after that i get to stop by athens town for a couple days, then it's on to new york city. i love vacation. i'm looking forward to seeing some of you soon.

hopefully you'll hear from me again before i depart, but for now i have to go study and celebrate the birth of katie meyer.
go out and play as much as you can this weekend, okay?