look ma, i've got my very own blog!

"and all the science i don't understand... is just my job five days a week." --elton john, "rocket man"

Thursday, March 20, 2008

bringing it all back home

i leave this place for good in about half an hour. it sure has been a good ride... i didn't get to do all the things i would have liked to, even over the course of nearly 3 months. to me that is a sign that a place is a good one.

anyway, i've got some last minute packing to do, some sandwiches to make, and a rainbow to enjoy. see some of you soon and some of you sooner.

Monday, March 17, 2008

winding down

the wedding is done, the 'rents are here, and all too soon i will be on a plane home. well, first i'm on a plane to athens, which will be a nice buffer back into reality. hopefully i'll get to think a lot about these past two months, sleep a lot, and eat casa everyday. i definitely can not complain about my life...

more soon y'all.

Friday, March 07, 2008

whaaaat

it is very hard to write things here these days. i think that partly it is because there is so very much going on that i can´t possibly express it all, and even if i could, the words i say here would not do things justice. i think also it is because the more time i spend writing the less time i spend playing. and i think partly it is probably because i´m not really sure there is a whole lot of point. i do not mean anything bad by this, but it is hard to believe that what i say will be understood by anyone who is not here with me right now. i could tell lots of stories (and i do plan to do this once home and able to process things and sort through the last 3 months properly), and post pictures, and say things about what it´s like, but the truth is that it really is not possible to make it "real" for anyone else. and maybe that doesn´t matter and maybe i am being small-minded by feeling this way. i appologize if this is the case, and i appologize because i am probably not giving any of you enough credit. but there you have it.

right now shannon and kristin and i are in guatemala. we have good adventures together. shannon and i randomly came across some folks the other day who convinced us to change our plans and hike up a volcano and camp for a few days instead of going to a famous market in a town a few hours away. and i will say that i can´t even believe that we almost missed out on this experience. it was one of the best things i´ve done in a long time. shannon expressed it best best by saying that it restored her soul. indeed.

again, the people we have met have blown me away. this time it has been a handful of ex-pats and travelers, some of whom are in and out of the country, some have been here a few years. i have been thinking a whole lot about all of the people i have met over the past few months. i have always known that i am a people person, that people are what make my life complete. perhaps that´s wrong somehow, or perhaps this makes me too dependent in ways that i shouldn´t be. i´m not sure quite yet. but what i will say is that this realization combined with all of these amazing people i have been meeting has been doing funny things to my mind. i´m not sure how to say this accurately yet, and i fear this may seem terribly rude, though hopefully not hurtful to anyone i know. but i really wonder what things will be like at home. i know that it has only been such a short time since i left, but i feel that a lot has changed--in me and in life and in my friends, and i don´t know what that will mean when i´m back in that other place. sometimes it feels that the more i do things like this that i really love and that make me feel whole in ways i can´t at home, and the more people i meet who are "like me" or who inspire me so much, the more i am divided from everything that is "normal" and "right" back home. the more this kind of lifestyle becomes a real possibility and the more i daydream about what i could do with my life, the less i feel understood by or connected to things i once held so dear.

granted, this is coming at a time when i am on the move and things are amazing. and i am certain that once i return home and remember all of the goodness there i will feel entirely differently once again. i guess i just wonder if i should...
sometimes i wish i could live life more than once. sometimes i wish i didn´t have to make choices, that i could do one life at home and one life of adventuring. is it possible to do both, to make a balance between these? i`d really like to think so. and i´d really like to give it a shot.

anyway, here i am rambling again, probably making little sense and a lot of trouble. i promise to share stories of the adventures soon. i´m headed to athens in a little over a week to see the ohio fam. my niece is huge and turning into a big person so quickly... which means that i will see some of you soon, and probably force you to let me verbally process through a lot of this with you. i´m telling you now so you can prepare yourselves mentally and physically for this challenge.

i hope you are all doing well.
love love love,
liz.