thoughts on travel and doing the right thing

it is always a little bittersweet to come home at the end of vacation. especially a good one. and especially when you have to start a new job right away.

the last leg of my journey took me to new york city with some of the best people around. i am forever indebted to jessica meyer and probably also to scott, so the next time you see either of them be sure and remember their awesomeness. the city lived up to its reputation as fast and loud and bustling, but i found it comfortable and approachable. it is possible i will look for jobs there after graduation. i hear they have a pretty serious shortage and are offering some relatively enticing incentives.

my trip had a vein of reality running through it, though, as midway through i was offered an interview for a different summer job that i wanted a whole lot more. i wound up doing a panel phone interview one afternoon sitting in a park by the brooklyn bridge. today they called and formally offered me the position.

i have spent a fair amount of time over the past few days trying to figure out what the right thing to do is in this situation. i already committed to job #1, and i really don't want to cause any trouble for the woman/clinic that hired me. however, job #2 is very much more appealing to me, and it also is a foot in the door at a place i could potentially see a future career.

in situations like this it sometimes feels as if i am a part of two very different but very real worlds: the one where you do the right thing because it is the right thing even if it is not best for you; and the one where you sometimes have to do what is best for you even if it is not best for someone else. in best case scenarios the two overlap.

when job #2 called me today to inquire about my decision, i told her i was feeling conflicted and, despite my great desire to work at her institution, i did not feel it was right to back out on job #1 on such short notice. much to my pleasant surprise, this woman said she was impressed by my attitude, complimented me on having integrity, and fully supported my decision. then she asked me to please keep in touch and to contact her in the fall because she was pretty certain they could come up with a position for me by then.

after all of the ridiculous and unfortunate crap that has happened this year, it really means a lot to me to run across someone like this. it is not that i need recognition or praise from anyone, but it sure feels good that the struggle i have had over this wound up being positive on all fronts instead of causing anyone any amount of trouble.

so i officially start work tomorrow. i will now go pack my lunch.