bitter,sweet

so saturday is my last night shift. last night was my last night with some of my favorite nurses/people, and i will admit, it felt very sad. i mean, i know that working nights is bad for me, and i know that i have to at least try working during the day and see if it's any better. but i have to say that honestly, the only thing i have truly liked about my job for the past many months is the people i work with. it says a lot about them that staying up all night long, cleaning up barf and poo and listening to screaming children and disgruntled parents is made bearable--almost fun, even (sometimes)--simply by sharing it with them. they have been the reason i did not quit nursing a long time ago, and the reason that i am as good at my job as i am. michele reminded me that i didn't really like any of them for a while either (sorry guys), and so maybe i'll wind up liking some of the day people as much as my night crew. but i'm not so sure about that. it's not that there aren't ones and twos that i like and will come to like a lot; it's just that, as a whole, i know it will not be as good. i know that there will always be the outliers, the negative nancies, the political strategists, the disgruntled middle-aged women who are so burnt out they should have quit when they were my age...

i hope that i can bring more of the night shift helpy mentality to days. one of my favorite parts of working nights is that everyone is always so willing to lend a hand, to take a minute even if they are insanely busy to help another nurse with something they can't do by themselves, or talk through a tricky situation. it's nice to know they've always got my back, and to get theirs when needed. that's what it's about.

and so it is with mixed emotions that i transition back to the day world, the land of the living, the land of sunshine and honey. i am thankful to you, ladies and gentlemen of the night, who have been my teachers and peers and support and friends over this past year. you will always have a special place in my heart, for no one else can really ever know what we have shared. and i will feel a little bit left out when i arrive in the morning, knowing you shared a 4am dance party, or powered through the six o'clock weirds, and will be a little bit sad when i leave you to go home to my bed at night.