look ma, i've got my very own blog!

"and all the science i don't understand... is just my job five days a week." --elton john, "rocket man"

Sunday, August 31, 2008

hello and greetings from my new computer.
i feel certain that nobody ever checks this anymore, which really they shouldn't because i never post things. i can't say that i expect that i will suddenly be back to blogging on a regular basis, but there are definitely times i have felt like posting things and regret not being able to. so who knows. we'll see.
i start work a week from tomorrow. real work. the kind of work where i will actually be responsible for the lives of the children. i feel pretty ready to head back into the workforce after a nice and much needed summer break, but i am admittedly and understandably nervous. i love time off, and i hope to take a bunch every year of my life. but now it's time.
i had the luxury of going on a world tour of sorts this summer. three weeks, five stops, lots of friends and fun and nice times. i really love my friends and wish that we could all live in the same place again one day. or at least within driving distance. i am tired of being at least 2000 miles from everyone. i have spent a lot of time and energy cultivating relationships here, but after visiting some of my best people i realize that i am still missing a lot from my current situation. it is nice to have friends who are fun and funny and interesting. it is nice to have friends who make me feel fun and funny and interesting. why is that so hard to find? it's not that i sit at home and hide away from the world either. i actually do lots of things and meet lots of people all the time. it just never seems to amount to much. i wonder what will happen in the next few years. i wonder if people will figure out where they want to be and who they want to be with. i wonder what my family will do. i have this weird and unique situation where i can really go anywhere and find work, and i just want all of you to know that if you pick a place i will go there. if you are there it will be great and i am more committed to my people than to any place. so talk amongst yourselves and let me know what you decide. i'll even go first and get things ready for your arrival.
while wanting this more than pretty much anything, i fear that it will never actually be. and so i turn back to my beer bottle and the world wide web for company on this lovely evening, slightly saddened and a bit envious of the group of kids playing together across the street.