i wish i were a little bit taller

right now i feel like a whiny little kid about everything. but i don't want to clean my room! (i just want it to magically already be done.) i don't want to go back to school! i don't want to start a new job and have to readjust my schedule again!

sheesh. i drive even myself crazy sometimes.

really, all i do want to do is read books and sleep for days.
it has been a good summer overall, and really, i actually am looking forward to heading back to school and i'm totally excited about the new job. it's just the transition part of it all. i hate the getting started part, the part where i'm not really sure where i'm supposed to be going or what people expect of me, the part where i'm new and have to ask zillions of questions all the time instead of knowing even simple things. i hate feeling incompetent and needy. i know that in a month i will be settled in and things will be better. it's just waiting out the beginning of it all. can i say "humble?"

running log:
training has been mentally challenging lately--i have had to really work to get myself out the door the past few weeks and stick to all the miles the schedule tells me to run. i hate that. i don't want to get to the marathon and wish i'd done more to prepare. but i also realize that part of my trouble is that i'm not really being very sensible about myself and my goals. the thing is, contrary to popular belief, i am not an elite athlete. really. but i want to be. i keep thinking that i should be able to run at a certain pace or that certain routes should be a lot easier than they are.
but what i have been missing is that i'm still doing a lot of hard work, and overall i really have made a fair bit of progress. why is it so hard to just be happy with all i am able to do instead of always wishing i were capable of more? it means i fail every time i go out instead of accomplishing something great. defeatest attitude = messed. up.

welcome to my inner workings. feel free to leave at any time.

i think all of this is fall's fault. this time of year is always a bit melancholy and it seems to make me feel a bit anxious and overwhelmed each year. i will comfort myself by buying new school supplies and a new school outfit. and maybe even a lunch box...
hey, it worked when i was a kid.