it's been a long long long long time

my computer died a few months ago, which is why i haven't posted anything in a very, very long time. i've actually had all kinds of things to say--nothing useful, of course--but had no way to put them up here. and now they are lost to the recesses of time and my mind forever. oh well.
so many things have happened in the last few weeks, and now i'm just sitting here on this borrowed computer with allergies worse than i have ever experienced thinking of all the studying and chores that have piled up but that i still really don't want to do. it's summer! i want to play!
but not yet, little lizzo, not quite yet. it's a little frustrating sometimes. people think that now that school is over it means i'm free and have all the time in the world. but actually, the hardest (and scariest) part is still to come. now i have to take a test--one test--that will determine if the last three years of my life were really useful for anything at all. if i pass i am a nurse. if i don't... and everyone says that of course i'll pass. but people don't. lots of people don't. and i'm not going to lie to you or anyone else--i wasn't the best student last year. or any year, really. i can get good grades, but i take lots and lots of shortcuts that mean i don't really retain the material very well. anyway, i digress.
also, i know i'm new to all of this, and one of the most significant things i have learned over the past two years of nursing school is that we are so dang complicated that no one will ever really know everything, and even the basics will take years and years and years to get down. but i still can't even seem to diagnose myself and my own symptoms. is this actually just plain allergies? or are the signs and symptoms indicative of something more? it's hard to say. also, our bodies really only react in a limited number of ways to millions of things, so that makes it tough too. i hope that one day i will feel confident in my ability to give advice, knowing that it is actually based on something besides my best guess. or maybe that's all nursing really is.
i have to go see if my phone is locked in my boiling hot car, and if so, if it has melted or exploded yet. good luck!