rebellion

would you call this "cute?"

















"people say that your dreams are the only things that save ya.
come on baby in our dreams, we can live our misbehavior.
everytime you close your eyes lies, lies!"


i don't like the look of things right now, but i feel a bit trapped, stuck. that's the worst part.
i never listen to my gut and i always regret that because it's usually right. perhaps this time i should, whatever that means and however that ends up looking. because i don't know how much more of this i can take and i'm tired of wasting days. or nights, as the case may be. and this bleeds into everything else and taints the rest of my life so that i just feel really bad pretty much all the time. is it worth it? or am i just being a wimp? should i suck it up and tough it out or just move on now?
i honestly don't know the answer to any of these questions. i just know that this whole mess just isn't for me and it was never the point of any of it to begin with. so knowing that, now what?
sometimes i really hate being a grown up. it's really hard sometimes...