can you tell me

why some people are just so unfriendly?

it seems to me that, when given the choice (and i think we always have a choice), most people choose to be angry for a large portion of their lives. now sometimes it is entirely understandable and anger is warranted. other times it is explainable even if not right, like when someone chooses to feel anger instead of hurt or sadness.

but then there are these times when it just seems completely ridiculous and unnecessary. i think that i would rather be nice and happy instead of bitter and angry. life seems better that way, and way too short to waste being pissed the whole time. so often the anger i see isn't even about anything meaningful or important or significant. it's petty and silly, and if the angry person had a little bit of perspective they would see what a waste of energy it is.

i think i am thinking about this because i have seen it in me recently. all of the sudden i will become aware that i'm totally pissed about something--and wonder why. today i was there when a patient was told they have terminal cancer. perspective.

in the past 12 months a whole mess of stuff has happened and what i am yet again remembering is that life is a whole mess of stuff, good and tough and gross and wonderful. and it is all awesome and terrible and totally worth living instead of simply getting through. because one day we will get through it and then there won't be any more, and even though what comes next is supposed to be so much better, sometimes i still think i'm really going to miss this whole crazy place.

sometimes i just get lost in my chatter...

whatever is going on in your life right now i hope you have a chance to slow down and feel thankful about something and be amazed by how weird and incredible it is to be alive today.