well what have we got here?

at first i really liked 24 too, but now it kind of just seems like other tv shows. it's hard for me to get into that stuff, so mostly i just go to see the people. tonight i looked at rosie more than the tv. that's an hour well spent.

what do you do when there is someone in authority to you whom you don't really respect or trust, but have to submit to anyway? i am actually asking here.
i have an instructor who, for some reason none of us can figure out, decided at the beginning of this quarter to single me out and give me a really hard time. i produce work of the same quality as my classmates on time, yet she is always on my case and has said more than once now that it would be okay if i decide i don't want to be a nurse. thanks. it's good that you're keeping me in check here because my ego is really getting out of control.
she said this to me on friday. this was the same day that my patient implied that i am incompetent as a nurse. at the time he was really drugged up and fiesty, and he was playfully teasing me. he and his wife actually really liked me and kept trying to set me up with one of their sons, but his comments combined with the encouragement of my faithful instructor were a bit much for me. on days like this, naked finals (click here or here) don't seem so bad...
i guess i just wonder if these people see something i don't. i mean, i really don't know what i'm doing yet. but i feel like that's why i'm here. that's what i'm in school for, that's why i'm supposed to be instructed by a quality nurse in the hospital setting two very long days every week. because Lord knows we don't learn how to do anything practical in our classes...
but maybe they're right, maybe my instructor sees a real flaw in me that tells her i'll be terrible at this.
i think the worst part of the whole stupid situation is knowing that i have to do the right thing here and really, really not wanting to. i know that i have to meet with her and discuss all of this, confront her on the ways i feel she has singled me out, the troubles we are having between us, and be willing to hear whatever it is that she has to say to me. part of me just wants to lay low for the last five weeks of the quarter and get through it, but i know that's the lazy man's option. the only nice part in any of this is the support i am getting from my classmates. they've witnessed the madness too and have reassured me that they haven't seen me do anything wrong, anything differently than any one of them.
and the thing is, i wouldn't even really mind it all that much if she was giving me such a hard time and i either felt like i deserved it or i felt like it was really doing me good. but neither is the case. i am not learning anything about being a good nurse from this, and it just makes me feel really terrible about everything.


on a different and happier note entirely, i got a new pair of running shoes on saturday. i was the first person to buy this particular pair as it was their first day out. i'm so cutting edge...
while i was trying on several different pairs, the nice man helping me asked if i was training for any races coming up.
me: "yes actually, one in march."
nice shoe man: "that's great. which one?"
me: "actually, it's in florida."
nsm: "you know, there are races you can run around here..."
yes there are. i think i'm going to run the st. patrick's day dash the weekend before the bay-to-bay classic in tampa.
SPRING BREAK 2007! WOOOOH!
and the new shoes are such a delight. it's like running on pillows.