"why burn your bridges when you can blow your bridges up?"

or in my case, blow them up and then try to rebuild them from the tiny little scraps, and then blow them up again and expect to still be able to cross them.

proverbial.

i am pleased at the reminder that i can live in easter sunday and not good friday. i think that as i get older (read "more bitter") i feel less certain of this. i feel less certain of who i was made to be, or at least less certain that that person is okay in the face of life's struggles and awkwardnesses and let downs. but today i remember that he is risen, and i am risen with him, and i have hope. happy easter.