smelly kid

the first day of my first clinical ever, i noticed that the hallway outside the nurses' lounge smelled exactly like the cafeteria/gym/auditorium at normandy elementary school. the combination of floor wax and bad food or something...
last night the left-hand train elevator smelled like a hamster cage. every time i brought another patient to the floor there was that distinct wet cedary smell i remember from the days of rodent ownership.

in lecture two days ago the guest speaker had a stutter. i could see her thinking carefully as she spoke and intentionally avoiding certain words (such as "medication" or those with the letter w) because they were difficult for her to get out.

i have always had this soft spot for people who are "different" in some way, those who don't exactly fit in to what is considered normal or mainstream. i get anxious for them because i see that there is a kind of vulnerability there and i want to stand up for them and protect them from the shit that inevitably comes their way. it bothers me that they might be misunderstood or made fun of because i just don't really get why people do this to each other.
in athens i worked with a lot of the smelly kids, or the grown-ups who used to be the smelly kids. a lot of the time they were more fun than the good kids anyway. sometimes at work a kid will come in and people will talk about them like they're this huge weirdo with social problems or whatever. but then i'll take them to get some test done and realize they just didn't trust the person saying these things about them because they were worried the person would would say these things about them. because it happens to them all the time.
i don't know, i don't know why i'm even talking about all of this, especially here. i think i just wish people were allowed to be who they are and to figure out who they want to become without fear of judgement from other people. and i wish people could recognize that, just because someone is a little odd or not just like them doesn't mean they don't have good things to say and a lot to offer.
i guess that in a lot of ways i relate with the smelly kid. i get it. and i want to be at least one person who's not always pointing out that they smell.
plus, i know that sometimes i'm definitely the smelly kid too.