history and future blaze bright in me

last year about this time things were just starting to get interesting...

last weekend i ran across this huge box of old photos from my past. it was like opening up the recesses of my mind and revealing my most precious and happy memories. i realized two things: 1. i love my life and i am so disgustingly lucky to have been able to know all of you and to do all of the things i have gotten to do; 2. if i didn't know me i think i'd really like to.

some highlights include: field studies, the centerville jazz trip to florida, my family at christmastime and other holidays and on vacations, western and the dread period, france in all of its various incarnations, good works times, americorps times, and last summer.

i think i'm moving into a new stage that i will be proud of too. the closer i get to nursedom the more i feel like it's a pretty rad thing to do. i kind of feel like i'm joining this secret club that is hard to understand unless you've been there. you become a different person through all of this--or maybe the things that never really fit anywhere else before are suddenly normal, acceptable. there is this whole universe of knowledge that you work so hard for so long to develop, and it is sort of nice to be around other people who get what that's like. it's a team sport.

also, i am remembering how much one person can impact your experiences. my instructor this quarter is completely amazing and our personalities work so well together. she is direct and upfront and honest, which scares everyone else but is exactly what i need. she makes us work so hard, but the crazy thing is that i actually want to. i know that if i put in lots of effort, she will make it all worthwhile. the harder i work the more she will teach me and the more i will get out of this time. i wish i could work with her for the rest of the program. or at least keep her as a contact for a long time.

this turned into a long one. thanks for reading friends, and for making life really super. i need to go to sleep now because i have to buy a wedding dress in the morning. night.